Silent Sandcastles

2011-11-09T00:39:00.003+08:00

Jaco van de Hoven is one of the most beautiful being i've come across lately.

Today marks the end of my one month plus mugging ordeal. Had my final paper for the semester today. I started revising for it since like the beginning of October? I've hardly even stepped out of the house since then. I literally felt like a loner with no life. But that's because i have the tendency to feel guilty about not studying and i really had too many chapters to go through. I didn't want any time to be wasted. Thus i kept myself in home prison. I didn't want to say the same damn thing of i wish i've started studying earlier. Happened too many times.

I'm pretty sure i'll do okay with all my papers this time around. Well, maybe for one. I keep worrying over it. I am so sick of such feelings. I really dont know what to make out of the situation if i fail that module. It isn't that i didn't study enough for it. But somehow i just feel that i haven't done it good enough on hindsight. Results will be out on 1st December. It's make or break for me. Lord hear my prayers...

I'm excited to see Pepper tomorrow, and for the rest of the holidays. She's such a cutiepie. Although she stinks. It even makes me gag sometimes. I don't know whats the cause of it but it might be due to her previous skin allergy. I wish the smell will go away. Then, she'll be my perfect pet.

Getaway to a beach resort in Malaysia this weekend with the family. What do i look forward to the most? Mmm, the buffet meals i guess. Lol. I hope it's good. But i'm gonna try to go for the healthier and less calorie piling stuff. I've decided to use this holiday to workout and eat healthier. I'm determined to become slightly thinner and toned and shed a couple of kilos. I can't stand how i've given up wearing most of my tank tops recently due to my tummy. Been doing alot of planks and flutter kicks recently though. I feel my abs harden, but they're hardly showing yet.

Korean BBQ lunch with the class, Malaysia during the weekends, FTT next weekend. Workout for the rest. I hope i'll be able to do some temporary stint for some cash.

This year has been a spiritually weak one for me. I think i've not been to church since the beginning of the year. I'm thinking to head back during Christmas. I hope B can come attend it with me.

2011-10-13T15:11:00.001+08:00

TO BE UPDATED...

2011-06-06T00:37:00.002+08:00

Comtemplating going for this colour for my hair. It's Sweet Pink by Liese Bubble Hair Colour. I think i prefer deep reds over browns as the latter is too common. I hope this wont turn out too red. Based on my previous experience with this hair dye i find that the color gets brighter through time.

I need a hair cut too. Till somewhere shoulder length and maybe an inch or two longer. I'm sick of haircuts which ends up with little difference. I dont have a hairstylist which i always head back to. Time i found one and stick to him.

Hopefully i'll be able to get this hairy situation done by the end of this month.

I was feeling pretty moody today as my mom didn't allow me to go to BKK. Because she thinks i've been spending way too much recently. Not that im not aware of that. And that it has only been about half a year since my last trip there. But the sale fare was too tempting to forgo. Threw my temper at her a little.

Dad spoke to me in the car about the fuss i was making. I told him i'm not fussing anymore as i wasnt intending on the trip already. He told me we should forgo all these short trips including a talked about Taiwan trip during this year end and set aside a bigger sum of cash for maybe a trip to somewhere further like Japan. I swore my eyes lighted up when he said Japan but he didnt noticed it cause i was facing out the window. So i just blabbered ok Japan it is.

I think my dad wants to go to Japan too. Both of us like to watch Japan Hour on tv every sunday. I feel a sense of peace and silent elation and awe whenever i see those wonderful places, peoples and everything in Japan. It's like the best damn thing in the world. Japan i hope to come for you soon.

2011-06-05T01:45:00.001+08:00

When a song stirs a memory, when motes of dust turning in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a train passing on a track at night in the distance and wonder where it might be going, you step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instants, you have stepped into the magic realm.

That’s what I believe.

2011-05-30T00:05:00.003+08:00

So my new bed and wardrobe was delivered yesterday evening. Everyone woke up earlier than usual to start shifting our old stuff and all to make way for the new ones. After clearing out the room, i had to paint my wall a little as well. It was tiring. But fun in its own way. But it was tiring.

I'm satisfied with my new bed and wardrobe i guess. Anyway, when the delivery guy brought my blue bed frame into my room, he made a remark which got me thinking something random after that. As he moved my bed frame into place he commented that i must love blue alot. The bed is blue. And i happened to be wearing a blue tshirt as well. I got caught offguard for a moment so i just chuckled.

The thing is, blue is not my favourite colour. But i realised i actually have alot of stuff in blue. Clothes, nail polish, bags. My favourite color is actually purple and black. Ok black aside because you can totally tell i like black by looking through my wardrobe and stuff. The problem is purple. I love purple but come to think of it i dont have many items around me in purple. Well clothes for obvious reasons it'll be abit of a challenge to match and pull off purple apparels. But purple. It's one of my favourite color but it's exists much lesser than blue around me.

I mean i could not care less about how mismatch my outfits might be by donning on purple clothes every other day because it's my favourite. Like those girls who like pink and every damn thing they have and wear is so damn pink it's an eyesore. It's like please we know you like pink but pink sure doesnt like you. Pink fur boots are you freaking kidding me? You get my drift.

Anyway i've sorta come to a conclusion that blue is actually my 'safe' colour. I wouldn't call it my favourite. I dont like it. But i dont hate it as well. What could go wrong with blue? Nothing. Unless it's food. But we're talking about everyday items here. It's a 'safe' colour for me. So no you presumptuous delivery guy blue aint my favourite colour. I just happened to be wearing a tshirt in blue. Actually, only the sleeves were blue. He actually made an ASS out of U and ME with such a small quantity of observation.

Ok this rant was totally random good for you if you read till the end. =)

2011-05-25T13:23:00.000+08:00

2011-04-18T16:01:00.005+08:00

Stuff to do/get after the exams

~~1. A new bikini top~~
~~2. Waxing~~
3. Eyebrow threading/trimming - Well, i've booked a home facial appointment with my friend's mom this coming friday. Hopefully it'll be good so i can go back to her for my facials.
~~4. A sports bra~~
5. Jog at least 3-4 times a week in the morning - Urm till now, i've only jogged once last week.
6. A flea-market - Missed the dateline to book for the flea. Gotta wait for next month's.
7. Attempt to cook creamy butter crab
8. Sign up for a facial package - Same as point 3.
9. Skipping (i'm not gonna grow any taller because of that, am i?) - I wanna try skipping at home but i hope i wont disturb the neighbours downstairs.

List to be updated...
updated 10/5

2011-04-16T13:21:00.001+08:00

Twice I turn my back on you
I fell flat on my face but didn't loose
Tell me where would I go
Tell me what led you on I’d love to know

Was it the blue night
Gone fragile
Was it both men
In wonder steady gone under
Was it the light ways
So frightening
Was it two wills
One mirror holding us dearer now

Thought I had an answer once
But your random ways swept me along
Colossal signs so I got lost
With so many lovers singing soft

Was it the blue night
Gone fragile Was it both men
In wonder steady gone under
Was it the light ways
So frightening
Was it two wills
One mirror holding us dearer now

2011-02-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

im doin good baby, i'm doin good.

2011-02-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

CUTE

2011-02-12T20:17:00.006+08:00

one of the rare saturday nights when i'm home. was supposed to go to a friend's place for dinner but i decided to skip it in the end as im having a probing headache. this always happens whenever i lack sleep. stayed up quite a bit last night to revise for my accounting test this morning. i could have done better for the test i guess. but it was a much better experience with the accounting paper this time around compared to the last one.

i shall take this rare saturday night free time to complete some school assignments. teehee.

i was talking to B earlier about how i think it's annoying when some people randomly 'like' the statuses of others in facebook. i find it redundant and slightly roll-eye inducing to see someone liking a random status when there's nothing even worth liking. i told B i was actually referring to some of his pals. lol.

For example, status update:

'my back hurts like hell'. LIKE.

'the bus is taking too damn long to arrive'. LIKE.

'i think i'm falling sick'. LIKE.

'boarding the plane now'. LIKE.

'i need a haircut but still deciding on the style'. LIKE.

'the scenery here at XXX is beautiful'. LIKE.

'i'm so late'. LIKE.

'i can't find my fav pair of shorts'. LIKE.

book out loh. LIKE. waiting for bus. LIKE. im hungry. LIKE. im cooking noodles. LIKE. i am-- LIKE. you are-- LIKE. zzz-- LIKE.

okay i added like the last 3 myself but, you get the drift. why are you so randomly liking other people's random status update? i think i understand that some of the likes constitutes to agreeing with what the person said. but some likes are just too plain random. and i find that kinda annoying. annoying to the fact that i have to use singlish to get it all out in the following space.

like like like. very nice to like meh? so random updates also like. people back pain you also back pain si boh? bus take very long you waiting for the bus with him meh? you taking the same flight with him meh? u watching the scenery with him meh? wa lau dont lame can or not.

im not saying there is a rule to abide to before clicking that damn like button. but it really is kinda annoying to me when people misuse it.

i like statuses which i think are hilarious, different or makes me think hey that's something i've never thought about before. one friend's funny status is stuck in mind head.

'Bruno Mars wrote a song about catching a 'Grenade' for his girl. I hope the girl too wrote a song about loving him to bits and pieces.'

LOL. im getting a little carried away with this status like thingy. but that's about it.

im still having abit of that headache. might crash early tonight. happy valentine's day in advance. <3

2011-02-10T23:12:00.000+08:00

2011-01-30T22:55:00.004+08:00

To lose it all in the blur of the start
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!

2011-01-02T18:22:00.004+08:00

2 days into the year twenty eleven. School officially starts tomorrow. I really wanna be true to my own promise of bucking up my lazy ass for school and make sure that no more re-modules will ever happen in the rest of my university life. It feels really bad to see all the money being wasted. Come on brain allow yourself to absorb more academically!

I wanna explore and experience more in 2011. No specific plans on how im gonna do that but i will try to be up for whatever interesting and new stuff that comes my way. That dont include boyfriend though. Hohoho. Meh he doesnt read my blog anyway. Somehow im looking forward to fully utilise my 2011 daily planner notebook.

I will definitely find a job during my mid-year school break in order to save up for a trip at the end of the year. I wanna go on a holiday at least once a year from now on. It was Taiwan 2 years back. And it was Bangkok last year.

Also, I pray for relationships to be better this year.

Backtrack to the last day of 2010. Fortunately it was an enjoyable NYE's night. Potluck with different countries' food at boyfriend's house with his friends. It was supposed to be cancelled but they went ahead with the plan last minute because one of them prepared his dish already. =X

The supposedly Irish beef stew that the boy whipped up. Nothing Irish about it though. But it turned out to be pretty good. Was the first dish to be wiped out. Played wii till late. My arms hurt. And i realised my body only become sore 2 days after that activity. Never the next day but 2 days later. Weird huh. Or does that happen to everyone else as well?

Im just quoting this from someone in my facebook.

"I know wit a new year there is no such thing as a new beginning, but somehow i think ppl celebrate it bcoz life is like a story. Wit each new year begins a new chapter in life n like in every story ppl jus hope it becomes better,not all stories are a happy one. But yet again it is our story to tell n since we are e writers of our own happy ending, I wish u all a happy new year n tat we all make better choices in what we do."

True that. We are the writers of our own story. Master of our fate, captain of our soul.

2010-12-28T18:58:00.008+08:00

i think it was around sometime this year when the drifting started to set in. i mean, remain silent all you want but you can't deny that there's some kinda spark missing whenever we get together. i tried to to just go with the flow but everytime things fall back down. no longer on the same frequency anymore and only bounded by the vagueness of questions and answers whenever we make conversation now. nothing deeper. nothing deeper like how the best of friends connect to each other in every single way. and how we'll miss each other when we're not around each other and enjoy talking to one another when there's the chance.

i really thought alot before writing this post because i dont know which direction is this gonna take us if this was poured out and how you guys are gonna handle it. i know this is a 2nd time a post like this is happening. but at the same time i feel that i can no longer keep mum about it cos it keeps stirring inside of me.

personally i feel that i will really appreciate someone/ some people whom i can call as a soulmate best friend. i dont ask for sticky friends who'll need to hang out and be in contact 24/7 but someone whom i can cherish and willingly share all my thoughts and feelings about everything whenever i want. and also someone in return to lets me in their lives just like i'll let them. guess what, there's alot of stuff i've never told you guys about since the day i felt like maybe it wasn't worth telling you guys about stuff anymore. because, you never care? big or small matters. and also if you rate the percentage of stuff talked about between us it's probably 80% you and 20% me. oh i've tried to talk to you guys about my stuff. i've tried. but all i get in return was lukewarm responses and answers which kinda conveyed you didn't wanna hear what i have to say anymore. we hardly ever also talk about us if you realised. it's always among some other people, some other girl, some other couple. and i dont know if you've realised i've always been pretty much keeping quiet whenever you guys go yada yada yada on some topic but dont seem to give a shit anyways.

it's all the little little things that builds up over time. little things which i would have overlooked in the past but strangely i find it always happening all over again and it makes me wonder is this really how good friends are supposed to be? sadly i dont feel that love, the helpfulness, the consideration, the kindness among us anymore. oh my gosh it's so freaking lacking in these departments. there's so many little incidents that accumulate to this which you might not realised. and no, im not being over-sensitive or emotional because it's those little actions you do over a long period of time which counts more.

let's face it. how much are we in each other's lives now? am i supposed to keep my options opened? im not sure whenever you guys would have read this. but if you do, maybe we can talk. although talk is cheap. because we had a similar convo about this awhile back. you knew what was i trying to say. thinking back i felt that some stuff you said were like excuses though. and being bffs isnt just about labelling/calling each other as bffs literally in facebook and twitter statuses/messages and not being what it is truly is underneath it all.

i remembered there was once we were trying to take a picture and you said you heard that we're not supposed to take a photo in threes because one person is bound to drift apart. idk where that saying came from but it really hit me in the head then because i already knew it was happening.

i just wanna have a bunch of good friends whom i can be soulmates with and share everything regarding our lives in a balanced way. i know it might be difficult after this if you had read this because things might get awkward since you know how i actually feel all these while. frankly im really envious of people with best friends. i would never wanna let our 7 years of friendship go to waste either. i just wish there's something we can do about this...

so girls if you feel you have something to say about this no matter what, do let me know.

once again a Merry Christmas to you girls again (christmas isnt over there's 12 days of it) and a Happy New Year 2011.

just case we dont text each other till then. ;)

2010-12-27T16:34:00.001+08:00

It doesn't feel like the old times anymore.

We do not feel like the old times anymore.

2010-12-17T12:38:00.002+08:00

Will be off to msia in less than 20 hours time. Last overseas trip for the year. I hope it will be an enjoyable time for the family. No pissed-off matches with my mom especially. But i think the probability of that happening is pretty low.

Gotta double the effort i put in for school for the new year begins. No more mindless internet surfing when i get home from school everyday. Revision > internet. Else im gonna be so screwed once again.

The best holiday in the entire year in 8 days time. I love Christmas. Presents or no presents, i just love the feeling during this time of the year.

2010-12-12T17:13:00.002+08:00

2010-11-11T18:34:00.002+08:00

no matter how much of the world you think you've seen, it's still full of secrets and the unknown.

too many stuff going on under the radar.

2010-10-26T20:31:00.004+08:00

i suddenly feel like quitting school after my first exam paper today.

i unintentionally screwed up my first paper big time. and this paper was supposedly the one which im more confident of. now that i'm pretty sure i might fail it, how am i supposed to pin my hopes on the other papers. especially two of them which are my death points.

i know i should not think about today's paper anymore as what has done has been done. and i should just concentrate on doing my best for the rest. i know and i understand what i should be doing to get through this exam period. but the disappointment really sucks. if i have to retake this module again next semester i'll have to go through the project all over again. worse still, finding and working with new groups mates.

just thinking and worrying about all that makes me feel sick to my stomach.

i just pray that SOMEHOW, somehow i'll be able to pass. just like when i discovered i passed every module in my previous semester, that was the best feeling in the world at that moment.

2010-10-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

=|

=D

2010-10-08T13:37:00.002+08:00

[Aki]

i just had a strange dream

we were both on a tv screen
like game characters
we were both happily holding hands
then the child who was playing the game, reset it, then went to sleep
our characters still wanted to be together
it became agonizing
there was something important we wanted to say to each other..
but only our mouths moved
at that time
you said something
but the screen went blank
so i couldnt hear anything

[Halu]
there's a simple answer
there was something i wanted to say to you right?

i love you

2010-07-07T00:02:00.003+08:00

I'm actually unsure if the blog is the best place to rant on about stuff or just pour out your thoughts on particular sensitive matters. Because some stuff are bound to be about some people who might be reading this space. Although i'm sure nobody really follows my blog now. But on the other hand, i wished people whom i might be talking about might see what i wrote here because this is an indirect way of letting them know how i feel.

Friends. I'm sure everyone has a bunch of close friends. Ones that you can really count on during important times. Be it only 1 best friend, or a small group of long time close friends. For me, it's used to be like the 5 of us? But now it seems like only the 3 of us. 2 of them kinda drifted off to the other ends of the Pacific Ocean. Maybe occasionally only receiving a floating bottle with a message from them. Well, something like that.

Anyway, down to the 3 of us. It might only be on my part but sometimes i feel like we don't really connect on the same level anymore. It's true that we are all busy with our own lives everyday. Hardly any time to meet up but we still try to meet up like once a week, which is good. But somehow i feel like between one of us we don't exactly have the same interests anymore. Sometimes when it's only down to the 2 of us alone or something we actually have hardly anything to talk about. I actually have to rack my brain to think of something else to chat when the silence creeps in. And even when it's the 3 of us together, 2 of them will be chatting with each other most of the time cause they do sometimes meet up with their own bunch of friends whom i dont hang out with. They will chat about the stuff they did and all. Not that i'm jealous, i'm just really bored i have nothing to offer to join in the conversation.

And the thing is, close friends do contact each other every other day dont they? Facebook, twitter, sms? Even if it's to talk about irrelevant stuff. But for us, or for me, we can even go without contact for a week. Or more, if there's such a time i remembered. It's like hey strangers in our own world till we hang out again. Sometimes i feel they dont really appreciate some of my ideas or suggestions. Sometimes i wished they would be more spontaneous about stuff. Things get monotonous sometimes. I wished it will be more lively and crazy among us.

Sometimes i'm envious when i see some of my friends just posting ridiculous fun shoutouts to their besties and all on facebook. It's the keeping in contact that makes every go. And grow. I really like the friendship going on in One Tree Hill. It just makes life feel much better. Sometimes, i wished i have like a single BFF. One that does everything together. I think that kinda relationship is something so wonderful that can last you till your final days on earth.

I chat online everyday with the peeps from my class. Even more than my besties. I've been to many more new places with them recently than with my besties. More time spent and more laughter generated when hanging out with the school peeps. I'm glad i have my besties in my life. But i hope it doesn't come to a day when we feel it we are all just like the rest of the 'normal' friends we have. I must say i do picture them being my bridesmaids or something on the day i get married.

I'm not saying this to say 'I'm done' with my besties. It's just how i've been feeling for quite sometime now. I'm not sure they'll read this. I dont know if i want them to read or not. I do try my best and fulfill my part in this friendship. And i just hope for the same in return.

2010-06-26T01:25:00.006+08:00

I'm waiting for my moment to come
I'm waiting for the movie to begin
I'm waiting for a revelation
I'm waiting for someone to count me in

Cos now I only see my dreams
In everything I touch
Feel their cold hands on
Everything that I love
Cold like some magnificant skyline
Out of my reach
But always in my eyeline now

But everytime I reach for you
You slip through my fingers
Into cold sunlight
Laughing at the things that I had planned
The map of my world gets
Smaller as I sit here
Pulling at the loose threads now

Above are from Keane's lyrics, Spiralling.

Photos are snippets of my life recently. Gonna just let the pictures do the talking.

And yes, i'm looking forward to the release of 'Eclipse'. I've read all the 4 books in the Twilight series. I'm just excited to see how it will be transformed from script to screen.

School is starting next week. And it all becomes a dreaded routine again. The modules in next semester are gonna be tougher. I really hope to be able to deal with it. I'm still really thankful i managed to pass my previous semester.

Dont know if i'll continue posting entries here soon every now and then. I'm just too lazy and not that commited anymore. Although sometimes when i'm out and about with my life my mind is filled with so many thoughts and feelings that could make a decent post. But usually, the enthusiam for blogging dies down by the end of the day when facebook/twitter/fashion blogs/online shopping/msn are what i'll do first when i turn on my laptop. So you'll see where the mood for blogging goes.

I guess that's all for now. And i'll see you souls soon.

2010-06-17T18:00:00.003+08:00

The previous entry was the 666th post. How evil.

Alright i know i haven't been updating i said i will do so after the exams and look it's 2 more weeks till the end of my school break. Sheesh. When you've got twitter and facebook, it just makes you lazy to blog.

It's my birthday today. I appreciate all the birthday wishes that came in. Thanks everyone.

Didnt exactly start off well though. Had to do with the bf. But everything's mellowed down now.

Anyway i hope to get my grades up the next semester onwards. Really thank God i passed all my modules in the previous sem, though it wasn't very well done at all.

Take a look at yourself in a mirror who do you see looking back?

Is it the person you want to be?

Or is there someone else you were meant to be the person you were meant to be but fell short of?

Is someone telling you you can’t or won’t? Because you can.

Believe that love is out there.

Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life.

Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be. Believe that.

And believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

-One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill makes me cry. But i love it.

2010-04-21T01:44:00.004+08:00

i know i haven't been touching this space for some time.

what's new, you say? i have exams coming up next week. trying my best to mug for it. some days are productive, some others not so. i just hope to at least do well for the first semester. it's afterall a new beginning for the school term. would suck to stumble at the first step, you know what i mean?

i wanna try to update more as soon as my exams are over, and when the vacation kicks in. so many things i wanna do.

will be back soon. i hope. =)

2010-03-07T13:27:00.003+08:00

Something filled up
my heart with nothin’,
someone told me not to cry.

But now that I’m older,
my heart’s colder,
and I can see that it’s a lie.

Children wake up,
hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don’t grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We’re just a million little gods causin rain storms turnin’ every good thing to rust.

I guess we’ll just have to adjust.

With my lighnin’ bolts a glowin’
I can see where I am goin’ to be
when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.

With my lighnin’ bolts a glowin’
I can see where I am goin’
With my lighnin’ bolts a glowin’
I can see where I am go-goin’

You better look out below!

2010-02-10T01:06:00.003+08:00

Sometimes when i pretend i'm someone else and looking at myself, observing the way i talk and act, i realised that i would dislike me.

Do you sometimes try to be someone else? Why do we sometimes wish we have some traits of another person? Maybe you dont realised someone else might be wishing the same thing about you as well.

2010-01-21T18:28:00.005+08:00

Eyebrow looks crooked. Bahh. No i dont draw my brows. Doubt i'll ever need to.

Ever since school started, i don't feel as aimless as before. There is much school stuff to organise and worry about now. Datelines to meet. There's like a purpose now as compared to before. A part of me actually looks forward to school everytime, although i dread the hour long journey.

I think it's the company i'm lucky to have that makes everything much more enjoyable and bearable. Thinking back to orientation day, it was really just pure fate that brought everyone in my group together as everybody was just queuing up randomly to enter the lecture hall before being divided into groups. Interesting how fate works, but it's somehow within your hands.

I really hope to be able to do well for my accounting and statistics module.

Gosh reading The Food Pornographer when i'm absolutely hungry is a bad idea. It's like suicide for my growling tummy.

Oh wait i know this is wayyy overdued but i'll just go ahead and post these. Christmas dinner at my uncle's house on the day itself. Erm, he's actually my dad's cousin. But i dont know what can i address him. So i'll just call him uncle. Actually i call him by his name. Haha.

For as long as i can remember way back in primary school, my uncle will open up his home every Christmas Day to my family and some other people. A home cooked traditional Christmas dinner awaits us. I see new people every year at his home. Friends, people they're lending a helping hand to. Last year was the last time we'll all be gathering at his house for Christmas dinner as his family would be moving house.

Interesting fact. That piece of land where their house is now was actually my granny's house in the past. Granny's got a new place to stay. So the old house was torn down and replaced by my uncle's house now. I remember going to my granny's house often when i was a kid. It's like a really old kampong home. I kinda missed the place but i only have a few significant memories of it now because i was too young back then. Now, i think will miss my uncle's house as well. More or less.

That's all for now. Dinner time.

2010-01-12T13:21:00.004+08:00

I can probably say this week is the best school week. Because i only have classes on Monday. Yup, free for the rest of the week. And thank God i have been exempted from one of the course modules for this semester. Have been waiting for the exemption results since the induction and enrollment session last month.

But i really have to start revising my work. Statistics and accounting isn't really treating me very well as of yet. But i'll be working on it. I will not allow myself to fail any modules during my time in the school.

Thank God for coursemates whom i can get along well with. They are the people who are in the same group as me during orientation. We pretty much stick together in school, like a poly class. I have just formed my first project group. I'm good with those in my group. Hopefully no true colours will surface too soon. Not looking forward to any serious conflicts.

BB will be heading off to field camp this week. And the next following 2 weeks. No contact for a couple of days during the mid week. Guess we all just have to deal with it.

I didn't managed to start off the new year very well. I told myself how hard could it be to stay out of arguments? At that moment i wasn't having a feud with anyone, and i didn't see any coming. But then on the first day i still managed to piss the bf off for some reason. And we didn't really talk until the 3rd day when we managed to make peace. Well, all's good till now. And i plan to keep it that way.

I wonder if i'll be able to travel to anywhere this year.

I really hope to enjoy my university life. Because it's the last chance to study (nope, i dont intend for Masters and further) before heading out to the working world which will probably take up half of my life after i'm done with school.

Like IDA Scott Taylor wrote: 'Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

Your present actions determine your future. Minimize regrets.

2009-12-31T23:05:00.003+08:00

Alright. I meant to blog since the starting of this week but i keep getting so lazy the minute i came online and went on to do other stuff instead.

So obviously 2009 is coming to an end. I remembered typing in one of my entries earlier this year about wondering what will be of me at the end of this year, because i was so clueless on what i wanted back then. So now i have the answer. I'll be starting university life next year when school starts next week. I really hope to be starting off this whole new chapter on the right track and keeping it that way. University is the last chance to study and enjoy life as a student before stepping out into the working world. I fear come what may in terms of the study stress and modules. But i'm praying for clarity, wisdom, determination and motivation to get through everything.

This year has been filled with ups and downs. Although there's bound to be good and bad times in your life for as long as you're living. Hope the coming year will have more smiles than frowns though.

I realised that this year i have travelled via the 3 modes of transportation. By air when i went to Taiwan in July. By ship when i went on the cruise weeks back. And lastly by train when i went to malaysia with bf and his family.

I think it's pretty cool. Haha.

Oh, dont you think 2009 has alot of celebrities' death? I miss you MJ.

It's all coming to an end, 2009. Can't say i'll see you again some other time. But i'll remember significant moments i had with you.

I'm going for a haircut tomorrow.

Happy New Year everyone. Make a more awesome 2010. =)

Loves.

2009-12-11T23:06:00.004+08:00

So on WED i attended bf's POP at Tekong. The day that we went for his enlistment didn't seem so far away. And how did i get through those weeks when he had to be stuck in camp for a weekend of two? Or the field camps he had where we couldn't contact for a week. I know this is only the beginning so i guess i should brace myself up for tougher times soon. Hopefully he gets posted to somewhere good after this.

Yesterday, i went to school for a programme enrollment and induction session. Thankfully i saw a couple of familiar faces there. Doesn't it just sucks to have to get yourself used to a totally new environment initially? All the apprenhension. Hopefully orientation in the coming week will take some of it away.

I finally caught '2012' yesterday. Yes i know i'm slow. But it's due the fact that i couldnt get tickets every single weekend when i wanted to watch it. Anyway, if the end of mankind and the world ever comes one day, there's one person i would wanna be like in the movie. That crazy dj guy up at Yellowstone Park. I think it really helps if you lose all your sanity at a time like that. You won't even know what terrified is anymore.

I'm actually in the midst of packing my baggage. Heading to Malaysia tomorrow night with bf and his family. I really have no idea what's installed for this trip. Will be back mid next week.

Look forward to Christmas. Enjoy your last few days of 2009.

2009-12-07T21:42:00.002+08:00

Can you almost tell if 2010 is gonna be a good year for you? I know it will be the start of an awesome one for a few of my friends. Congrats Gina babe for making it into SIA! I knew you were cut out for it. Haha. As for myself, school will be commencing in Jan. Start of a whole new university life. I just hope to start things afresh and on the right track.

So do you have something to look forward to next year?

2009-12-04T14:45:00.006+08:00

Returned from cruise early Monday morning. Overall i can only say the trip was average. In fact i was pretty much eating most of the time. Haven't tried stepping o the weighing scale since i came back. But it's good that we could spend the time together as a family. Pictures, i'm pretty lazy to upload the majority of them cos i'm so lazy to edit them now..

School starts in Jan. Hope to get myself all pumped up for the tertiary life once again. Have to be so focused, organised and disciplined.

Said goodbye to work officially on Tues. I began to dislike one of my bosses recently. But whatever it is, that chapter of life is over. Thanks for the learning experience. I'm gonna wanna learn from my mistakes.

Caught 'Gokusen' after work. Was kinda like an impromtu decision to watch it. Bad choice. I didn't like it. The exaggerated acting and all was just all too lame for me. I rolled my eyes a few times at the dramatic music that accompanied some parts. A girl sitting next to us was laughing her head off at practically every scene. We wondered why.

Wed i caught 'Ninja Assassin' with Gina. Not too bad. Lots of killing and blood. Rain's body was great but wasn't breathtaking. Passing time before the movie.

Alright, pictures from the cruise as follows.

Day 1

Our cabin was really small, but somewhat cosy. Didn't bothered upgrading to a better room. Bed was really comfy.

Shrimp cocktail

Lobster bisque

Strawberry cheesecake =)

Catching a performance after dinner.

Day 2

This char kuey teow was damn good.

Setting sail again

This was what we found on our bed when we returned to our rooms. He even used my shades as an accessory.

Day 3

I love eggs hahaha.

Somehow, i found the Royal Carribbean logo slightly similar to Transformers'.

Final dinner time on board. While watching the sun set.

Overall, it was a whole new experience.

Bf will finally be having his POP next week. How the 9 weeks seems to come and go. In case you're wondering, we're still good. =)

There, i updated. Finally.

2009-11-21T22:47:00.002+08:00

40 days left till the end of the year.

Not updating this space much recently. Any souls out there still keeping watch?

2009-10-18T23:03:00.001+08:00

The sun is on my side

And takes me for a ride

I smile up to the sky

I know i'll be alright

2009-10-09T20:48:00.004+08:00

I'm pretty sure all my neighbours heard me shouting at the top of my lungs just now. Heard me going insane.

I fucking hate my mom. She doesn't know anything and just assume and harps about every fucking damn thing like she is so damn sure she's right. When i tell her off and tells her to back off she lectures me on being rude, rebellious and all.

I'm so pissed i almost felt like hitting her.

CCB.

//edit: now that my anger has dispersed, i usually regret my words and action before this. -_-

2009-10-08T23:28:00.003+08:00

So it all starts today.

Accompanied bf for his enlistment today.

I miss him already.

1 year and 10 months more of this shit. =(

Meantime, have to get on with life independently, in a sense. Because i really rely on him alot for emotional support. And now i dont even know when i can get a decent text reply or phone call from him when i'm feeling outta sorts.

I'll be praying alot more from now on.

Dear God, i need to make a decision about my further studies real soon. I need help. =/

I miss bf.

2009-09-12T00:35:00.003+08:00

When i don't have job, i whined about it.

Now that i've landed a job, i'm also whining about it. Though i've kinda expected these sort of reaction from myself. I need more motivation to keep myself going. If not i'll just throw in the towel, which i'm hoping it will be my final resort.

There never fails to be some kinda negativity in me whenever i experience something new which i have to get used to. I hate it. Because it really upsets me. On top of that bf's getting enlisted soon. =( Can't really imagine the days when i'll not be able to have him constantly around me. Sigh, better gear up for it.

My laptop's down. Dont know what the fuck happened. Think the repairs might be quite costly. How convenient is that? -__-

Friends do chat with me when you happen to see me online during weekdays. Thanks. I need love and communication with the 'outside' world before i feel suffocated.

It takes a particular incident to make me realise how much i love and care for bf. Blessing in disguise.

Till then, happy going on with life. There's so much more life can offer if you really look into it.

2009-09-03T22:23:00.004+08:00

I think i'm someone who gets easily swayed by the others. But only when i realised what they say makes more sense what i had in mind.

And that's a pretty bad thing.

I wish i can be more firm and certain with my thoughts and decisions. More strong-headed. More persistant about what i want. One moment i thought i had my thoughts gathered and know what step to take next. Another moment i could be pondering upon the possibility of something else. It's just to so tiring and worrying to wonder if i'll ever be able to come to a decision solely made by myself.

I totally regretted not grabbing the chance to register for a place in the institute i want this year. Now i'll have to probably wait for another half a year. Totally fucked up my chance. Procrastination sucks. And i'm pretty drained mentally from trying to find a job. Damn annoying.

I'm envious and i feel so excited for friends whom i hear are going overseas to study. I think it's such a great opportunity and definitely gonna be an experience. Really beats being stuck in sg where the market is so small it doesnt really have much to offer. For a truly fulfiling life, thats what i feel. But if i'm given the chance i'm not sure if i'm someone who will grab the opportunity if it comes by. As i know i'm someone who'll get homesick and doesn't really adapt to changes quickly. Lol.

Pictures from my single meal on Monday.

Scary how i can only survive on one meal on some days.

I feel that somehow i've portrayed how insecured i am of myself and my life on this blog. As all i have are dreams in bubbles that burst after sometime and i'm not doing much to create those dreams into reality. As i look around and see people around me progressing in life, i realised i have not entirely crawled out of my shell yet. Late into the night when i lie on my bed i get really scared when i think of my future.

What am i destined for?

2009-08-29T23:47:00.001+08:00

Still in the midst of trying to get a job. Have already been to quite a few interviews since i starting sending my resumes out. But it's kinda disheartening when no one gets back to you. Makes me feel kinda lousy. How else am i suppose to do?

I'll most probably be studying next year. I hope that i'll be movativated and disciplined enough to be studying again when schools starts. The university fees isn't cheap at all. I really hope i can do something for myself and somehow make my parents feel that they've put their money to good use.

I was talking to Ven the other day and i really agree that the sg market is really too small for everything. In sg it would be more practical to study something like business, law, science etc due to what the sg job market has to offer. Sucks. I can't even decide to take mass comm without worrying about what job can i secured in the mini media industry sg has.

21 is the age which many would assume as being an adult. But being that age now i really dont feel anything different. I guess as you grow older and continue with life all you'll have are heavier responsibilites and more difficult decisions to make. Sometimes you wish you can just be a kid again.

I think life is very intriging. The fact that you exist in this world is already pretty amazing. And you'll never know when your time is up. So since you're given a chance to live your life, aren't you suppose to live it the way you want it to be? Dare to be different. Be doing what you aspire. Sounds easy but yet not easy to achieve. It's only now i fully comprehend Bon Jovi's lyrics. It's your life. And it's now or never. Because you ain't gonna live forever.

So true. Life is short. Will i look back in time when i'm old and be glad and contented with all my life choices? Will i be able to die without regrets? Actually i might not even have the chance to be old. No one knows the future. You may lose your life tomorrow. Cliche as it sounds but so true, live your everyday like it's the last.

I'll be slacking away until the day i finally get a job. I pray that day will come soon. Cause i really need to gain more working experience and earn more cash. And also i really need to be saved from my mom's incessant, repetitive nagging omg. (wah i tell you damn bth). Sometimes the stuff she says can be really ridiculous. Anyway i've been spending alot of time with bf because he's entering the army soon. Sigh.

I'm actually typing whatever that came to my mind so pardon me if some stuff doesn't makes sense or the sentence structuring seems weird because i cannot really be bothered to think....

Yes i dont even want to find the proper words to finish my previous sentence.

Anyways, check out this girl's interview. She wears bigini and loves leopard prince and zipbra prince with dark genes.

By the end of it you'll be thinking what i thought as well. How the heck did she became a contestant?

2009-08-14T01:52:00.001+08:00

Aimless.

Clueless.

What's next?

2009-08-05T00:33:00.007+08:00

Yay blogger's back to normal.

Have been hanging out with bf for the past two days as he's not working. Went to town and cityhall yesterday. Today we stayed home and cooked carbonara spaghetti and made rootbeer float. =D

Tomorrow i'm gonna stay home to pack my (effing messy) room. Entire pile of clean clothes i've yet to keep away after washing. Maybe set aside some stuff from my closet to sell. Those that i hardly or never wear. I'll also have to take a look at the university website. Start on applications and stuff. I wanna study i dont feel like working. Boo.

Meantime i'll also have to look for another part time job. Sigh. It's always about the money.

I'm really growing fat. It's gonna be pretty bad if i dont start working out again. =( Flabby arms and bulging tummy. No kidding.

Happy times with the bf. I really love that bf is someone who loves and understands me so much. =)

Payday this friday. Woots.

2009-08-01T12:38:00.001+08:00

WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH BLOGGER?! Over a week and the same problem still persists with the editor?

In the midst of finding a new job at the moment. Most friends and family have been telling me to get a full-time job instead of temping around. First of all a full time job will have the company benefits and all. Plus, i wouldn't have to worry about another job hunt again within the time span of a couple of months. But to me, i prefer doing a part time job at the moment because i still wanna continue my studies next year. If i take up a full time job, wouldn't it be ridiculous to be leaving the company in a year or less than that? Let's say if i'm going back to school after that. I mean, which company will wanna employ if they find out i dont intend to stay for long as i wanna continue with my studies next year? That is why i think i'll prefer sticking to a longer term part time job.

One of my friends told me before i continue with my studies and graduate, i have to start getting used to working full time first. I realised i have to agree with that. But to me it is the fact that i have to get used to working first. I realised that i haven't gotten used to working life at all. I actually dont like it. And i feel sick at the fact that working life is going to be the reality i'll have to face very, very soon.

Am i the only one feeling this way? I feel sick at the thought of living with a nine to five job in the future. A routined work life. It worries me. I'm worried for myself. How the hell am i gonna earn a living in the future?

I really have to change some of the stuff i think and feel about.

I was reading something the other day and i realised i have the same sentiments as what one girl said. I love fashion, style and all the wonderful stuff, but i actually kinda dislike shopping. YES I DISLIKE SHOPPING, to a certain extent. I dont feel excited about retail therapy all the time. Or i'll rather say that i need to have the mood in order to shop. Else, i'll just be following whoever is with me blindly as they shop. I'll just feel very bored.

Am i not your typical girl? I dislike shopping. I dislike chocolate. LOL.

Whenever i flipped through the TV channels and come across the Martha Stewart show, i think to myself. What the heck are those guys doing in the audience? Did they willingly, genuninely wanted to go watch her show? Because myself as girl, i have no interest in whatever Martha has to offer. Half the time on the show she's showing audiences how to do crafts, gardening and stuff so come on, how can the guys get through with that on the show. Even the Rachael Ray's show is more entertaining. Well, at least i enjoy her cooking section. I like watching her whip up some pretty amazing meals in such a time limit. I know Martha Stewart does culinary on her show as well but somehow, it's different. =x

Ok maybe those guys in the audience really love crafts and gardening.

I believe the world will not come to end in the year 2012. Why? Because i believe the Psychic Twins! (i want to!) I think they're pretty amazing. If you wanna know who they are you can try googling them or watching them on YouTube on the Tyra Banks show. =)

All the hype that's circulating about 2012. Natural disasters will happen. Volcano eruptions, earthquakes, floods, ice age, or even everyone being burnt to death. Scary huh. I got chills when i watched the trailer for the 2012 movie, the way the entire ocean engulfs the entire land. The end of human kind. A wipeout. A rebirth.

Actually i also believe what is said in the Bible. It was reminded to me by my colleague. And i felt relieved and comforted.

Genesis 9:11. "I establish my convenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."

God promised that after the Noah's Ark incident. The other time we were discussing what if in 2012 the entire ocean swept across the land and that will be the end of all of us. There definitely wouldn't be a flood, like depicted in the movie as well. Which kinda scared me.

Wow this is the first time i actually quoted something from the Bible on my blog. =D

Now, what next?

2009-07-23T22:15:00.003+08:00

The blogger post editor has gone a little haywired. It loads with error on page and some functions arent appearing propely. Anyways, i'll just stick to PB to upload pictures for now.

I wanna watch 'Up'. I've watched the movie trailer and it's so cute. The floating house kinda reminds me of Howl's Moving Castle. 7th August.

Yesterday was my last day of work. It's one of the most senang job i've done ever. But i hate calling people up, which is the main jobscope. Those rude customers. Tsk tsk. Deserve a shove of my foot up their asses. But there's a share of polite and nice customers as well. The tone of your voice is so important. A friendly one really makes your day.

Oh yes, my colleagues are really lovely people. Had alot of fun together. =) I think we're planning on a pinic next week.

I bought a new ring the other day and i really like it. Rather, bf bought it for me. It's so unique.

Taiwanese style ice with bf. One was mixed fruits consisting of mango, kiwi and strawberry. The other one was mango and durian. Not too bad.

I'm actually sick now. Since sunday i guess. Must be the roti prata and mutton soup i had for dinner and i didn't drink much water after that. I guess i'm having a fever. Throat's feeling slightly sore. I feel cold when there's a breeze. And the light-headedness. My head throb sometimes when i walk. It's amazing how i can come down with a fever so many times in a year. I think it's all due to my throat. It gets infected easily. =/

I have to go on a job hunt soon. Probably an enjoyable one that can last me till the end of the year. Hopefully.

I'm so apprehensive about the future.

2009-07-19T17:52:00.007+08:00

Tuning to: Michael Jackson - Jam

My one and only picture ever with the King of Pop. At Madame Tussauds Hong Kong last year.

I dont think i wanna do a post on my taiwan trip. Gomen! It's gonna be too long and my eyes are pretty tired and strained from sorting out, editing and uploading them on FB. Therefore, go take a look at my FB for more photos of my Taipei trip! =)

But basically, these are the main places we went.

Day 1: Shida Night Market
Day 2: Complimentary full day tour consisting of places like Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall, Yehliu, Martyr's Shrine, Jiufen and Shilin Night Market.
Day 3: Wu fen pu, Ximending, some night market near National Taiwan University.
Day 4: Taipei 101, Tonghua Night Market
Day 5: nearest Din Tai Fung for breakfast.

I think our hotel's location was kinda good. It was in the central of Ximending so things were pretty lively and convenient.

I remembered i wanted to go to Taiwan since i was 16. The trip didn't disappoint. But neither did it surpass my expectations greatly. But anyway i'm really glad i got a chance to visit there.

I've been temping in Shiseido for about a month plus already. The companions' great. =) And i think the job might be coming to an end soon. Definitely gotta find another job. As usual, i'm clueless on what to find. I've had a taste of admin and i dont like it. What freaking else can i do? =/

Money makes the world go round?

Hung out in town yesterday. Yes, very boring. And i mean the place.

Beyonce's dance moves were so DAYAMMM fine in her latest Sweet Dreams music video.

2009-07-15T00:21:00.003+08:00

I know i've been neglecting this space for quite sometime. Haven't really been in the blogging mood lately.

I just came back from Taiwan yesterday. Hopefully i'll be able to do a post about my trip really soon.

Do stick around.

2009-06-28T01:49:00.005+08:00

Whether you are a fan or not, i'm sure you've heard about the death of Michael Jackson.

I was utterly shocked when i first heard the news. My heart just sank. Never had i felt this way even when i hear of the deaths of some other celebrities.

I've always been a fan of Michael Jackson. I remember i used to have his casette when i was younger and i'll listen to his songs over and over again. And how i was so spooked by his 'Ghost' and 'Thriller' music videos.

His passing is such a great loss. No matter how freakish looking he has become over the years and him battling crazy lawsuits, you can't deny the fact that how great a music icon and legend he was. Definitely not labelled as the King of Pop for nothing.

Sucks that he could only be around for half a century. Now we can't even see more of him anymore.

Loved you MJ.

Gonna miss him. RIP.

2009-06-12T00:01:00.007+08:00

So, what's new?

Tomorrow i'll be going for some last minute shopping with bf to see if i can buy some decos for the house for my birthday celebration on Saturday. I'm excited about Saturday. But i'm not really sure how it will turn out. I hope everyone will somehow have a good time though. *sheepish grin*

I'M HEADING TO TAIWAN NEXT MONTH. Booked the tickets together with Stella today. Taiwan, finally. And i think my mom didnt object much this time around because i'll be finally turning 21. Not that i wish to be 21, but maybe she feels that she should just let me have a little more bit of freedom with travelling alone this time around.

Are you a Twitter whore? I dont have a Twitter account and i dont think i'll be getting one anyways. Just look at the frequency of me updating my facebook status. Haha.

Shane Dawson video. XD. It's funny. Watch.

I hope my temp job starting next monday is still on. Who doesn't love a little more income?

Grrr i wanna slim my fat face. I hate how it looks when i look at my pictures.

YAY TAIPEI. YAY BIRTHDAY.

2009-06-08T00:51:00.001+08:00

My latest watch on YouTube: Shane Dawson.

His videos are hilarious. And i was laughing so hard when i watched this.

XD

2009-06-07T21:19:00.001+08:00

ANYBODY wants to get this pair of heels for me?? So chio.

Pre-order ends tomorrow. =/

Anyone?

2009-06-04T23:35:00.002+08:00

Did an informal photoshoot together with Gina at the History Museum today. (No the above picture is neither of us) Met up with the rest and 10am and they drove us to the destination. Changed quite a few sets of clothes. I had difficulty with this halter maxi dress i had to change into. I wouldn't step out of the Ladies before Verene came and save me from any wardrobe malfunction. During the shoot i tried to be oblivious to the people in the surroundings who kept looking on.

Photoshoot ended at about 1 plus. They drove us to Siglap for lunch after that. I had sweet and sour fish with rice. After lunch i parted ways with them and headed for my dental appointment at Parkway. Wanted to consult the dentist about this brownish discoloration on one of my tooth i couldnt brush away and turns out it was just a stain (dont know how it happened) and he took less than 30 seconds to remove it. Great. Then he spotted a tiny cavity in one of my molars, and i had to get it mended. Haven't gotten any tooth fillings since i was like in primary school and i hated the sensation. But it wasn't so bad this time around. And it was really quick.

Shopped around alone for awhile after that before cabbing home. Wanted to opt for the bus/train ride to save some cash but i was feeling so damn sleepy.

The photos will be up in a few days time. I can't wait to see them and i just hope it will turn out better than what i have in mind. Haha.

There's a couple of heels and sandals i wanna get. But i can't decide on which ones. Dont you just hate it when you're spoilt for choices in such moments.

I'm tired. Later.

2009-06-01T11:24:00.005+08:00

Feels kinda good i dont have to be dreading over going to work anymore, for now. I have to spent the free time i have this 2 weeks fruitfully.

I actually have quite a number of tasks i've yet to get started on my hands now. I better jot them all down on a list. But i have a very bad habit. I procratinate alot. So i'll most probably end up not completing some of the tasks afterall. But i'm trying kick this habit though. Because being able to complete something you set for yourself gives a very rewarding sense of accomplishment. Haha.

I think i should come up with a birthday wishlist. Friends have been asking me about my birthday presents wants, but i couldn't answer them. Lol. Definitely i have a few things in mind, but part of them are pretty ridiculous stuff as well. So, ask me again soon.

Over the weekend i went cycling with bf and his buddies at ECP. Followed by dinner at Botak Jones. Bf didnt allow me to drink much. So i only had like 4 sips/gulps of beer. -_-

My closet is in dire straits. Think i'll have to get to it soon after this.

And who knew i would be into Twilight? Haha.

Later.

2009-05-26T22:45:00.004+08:00

Today in the office i managed to occupy my time by reading the entire Twilight book online. If not for it, i seriously have no idea how i would survive through the day. Although i have to say i enjoyed the story, it couldn't cover the fact that time in the office for me was absolutely boring and pointless.

I still have to survive 3 more days. I guess i'll just continue with the next 3 Twilight series. I can't rack my brains on anything else more constructive to do.

Sometimes i feel like a loner at my current workplace.

I hate peak hours on the train. Everyone's so squashed up against one another. I dont like the idea of having any bodily contact with anybody. Yesterday the train i took was so crowded the guy standing in front of me his face was just a few inches away from mine. I became extremely annoyed you could most probably see it in my face. So annoyed i toyed with the idea of whacking his face. Fortunately, that happened for the duration of only one train stop to another. The crowd loosen a little at the following stop and i quickly shifted myself to slightly more comfortable standing spot.

I like it when the office is almost empty. Like either earlier in the morning before everyone comes in or during the lunch hour. It gives me a sense of tranquility. And i'm actually convertly excited about the time alone.

FRIDAY, come soon.

I wanna watch the Twilight movie soon. I think the book is great. I had Robert Pattinson in my mind the entire time as i read. Can't wait to relive the story again in moving pictures. I'll probably watch it this weekend. I wish i could watch it now though. But i cant as i have to head to bed soon there's bloody work tomorrow.

DIE, BOREDOM, DIE!!

I really like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Esp their fashion style.

Got to go now. Cya later, world.

2009-05-24T13:50:00.005+08:00

It was graduation day on Wednesday. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. Tons more uploaded on my Facebook.

Another episode of my tertiary life which has officially ended and becoming wonderful memories. Thanks to all who were a part of my life for the 3 years.

The other weekend at Bugis.

This week is gonna be my final week of work. =) I hope it ends well.

Here is a photo from the event i did at Marina Bay floating platform last October. Got it from Gina when i met her to hang out on Tuesday. I look really weird here like my head has been photoshopped onto my body. And as you can see the makeup and the hair is really thick and cheena i thought i looked like one of those early Shanghai prostitutes.

Bf came over to my house yesterday and helped me with my room packing. I had so much junk lying all around it was like reminising time again when i found old photos and items. And the amount of dust that had to be cleaned had bf going 'tsk tsk tsk' every few moments. =X I should get to my closet soon. It never remains neat and tidy for a long time.

I should be registering for driving lessons soon.

2009-05-19T11:54:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Welcome to the world - Kevin Rudolf feat. Kid Cudi

Why is imeem being so fucking retarded to only allow 30 seconds of the songs to be played. It sucks not being able to share my favourite songs at the moment.

Excused myself from work today. Can't stand it. I'm sick of emphasizing to my family, friends and bf on how fucking boring is work. It's so bad. But i know my colleagues have to complete their part of work before handing to me. But meantime it's really very boring. I can't surf the internet too much now as the spot i'm sitting at, my laptop screen is in view of everyone who approaches from my left. And till now even if they give me some tasks to do it's always some very minor stuff which can be completed in one or two hours. Then, they practically leave me alone to work on the task, thinking that it will take me 2 or 3 days to finish it. They can't really be bothering about me as they are busy themselves.

So ever since whenever they give me some work to do, i'm actually secretly happy. Cause i dont have to rot my time away. And know what? I actually try to do the work as slow as possible, so that i have enough to last me till the end of the day or the next day. HOW PATHETIC IS THAT? But since i can't surf the net much now compared to when i was at my previous seat, i've have resorted to reading online books to pass my time while 'saving' work.

Sigh but nevermind. I'm gonna work till end of this month only.

I'm already planning for my birthday next month. I've never thrown a party before where all my friends and family has come together. I dont really go for stuff like that i guess. But since it's my 21st i thought i'll do something different. So wish me luck in getting everything together.

Graduation ceremony tomorrow. Will get to see everyone again.

2009-05-01T21:43:00.006+08:00

Glad it's a public holiday today. No need to go to work, means i can sleep in longer. Had some plans to head out initially but i ended up staying home the entire day.

Work yesterday ended at 1pm for me. Went around town with Stella and Sutian.

Somehow, i kinda hate my hair.

I'm not sure if i can ever get used to working life. Especially a typical office desk-bound job. Now that i have a taste of it. I dont like how the routine for everyday is the same and the only think i look forward to when a new week starts again is the end of it.

I've still not decided what i would like to further study yet. And time seems to be running out slowly.

Has everyone heard of the 2012 end of the world rumours going on like wild fire across the internet lately? Real or fake, i dont know. But it freaks me out. Some people have been saying it's just another Y2K alike hoax. But after reading some of the reasons for these speculations and watching some videos on it off YouTube, this end of the world in 2012 speculations actually kinda makes sense in some ways.

I cant bring myself to brush the entire thing aside and say this is just another hoax. Another gimmick. Because there is really a few possible speculations that makes sense. You can go google it if you're interested. It's unlike the Y2K speculations where it was about computers breaking down cause they couldn't process the numbers 00 or some shit and there'll be chaos.

I hate stuff like these. That is why this freaks me out. Even when i watch movies which depicts the end of the world like Armageddon and The Day after Tomorrow, i'm actually relieved in a way that i am only watching a film, and the apocalypse is not really taking place. (Yeah that means great special effects, you say)

If the world really ends in 2012, that means i have 3 years left to (for the experience) get a degree, get a driving license, get a car, get married, have kids, visit Taiwan, Japan and other countries that imma go to someday and the freaking list goes on.

3 years is too fucking short for my lists of things(i'm sure for everyone as well) so the world better not fucking end in 3 years to come! I hope it's just another fucking hoax!

Maybe this is a wake-up call to get the back-sliding me (and others like me) back to church. But i think i'm gonna go back to church soon. Tsk tsk, only running back to Him when we feel like we need Him.

Digressing, i'm gonna go learn driving soon hopefully. Really wish to get my own car in the future(if there is even one. =( hahah ok i'll stop being nuts about that stuff). My colleague said why would i wanna get my own car as i can just get my boyfriend/husband to drive me around instead. He thought girls like to be driven around. I guess that's true for most but for me, i'll pretty much like to drive myself around instead. I think it's much cooler this way. =)

Alrights i've talked much for now. Boo boo.

2009-04-26T20:34:00.004+08:00

Third week into work. My job's really relaxing. And sometimes, almost boring. Not that i'm complaining im being paid for doing nothing much. But sometimes i wish i can be so absorbed in my work that i dont notice time going by. It feels much more.. rewarding this way.

How i look forward to the weekends ever since i started work. So that i'm able to sleep in later.

Nothing much to blog about these days. Usually im pretty bummed out after work. And even if i come online i'll spend the time facebooking and checking peeps' blogs. Too lazy to stimulate my brain to type a chunk of words here on how my day was and stuff.

Bf's got his enlistment letter. But his enlistment is still a long way in October. Dont know why. Most of my other guy friends will be enlisting in July. I'm definitely glad i still have loads of time with him. But i still kinda wish he can be enlisted earlier, so that he can be done with army sooner instead of still having to wait for the beginning of the dreadful 2 here to arrive and waiting for the 2 years to end.

What if I told you your tears haven't been ignored
And everything that was taken can be restored

Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this
Salvation, under my breath

It's gotta be just right
Soul and spirt
Chord and lyrics

What if I told you that innocence is yours
And the beauty you have now is brighter than before

2009-04-13T21:43:00.003+08:00

Let's see. Work today was quite boring. I really felt like dozing off when i was left alone to read some of the materials they gave me. Oh and i reached the workplace damn early today. I think i overcalculated the time taken to travel there. Or was the traffic sparingly smooth this morning.

Didn't get a laptop of my own till after lunch. Internet connection was slow. Tried facebooking a little. Peeked at the auntie in front of me and saw that she was using facebook as well. I have my own desk though. It's actually the new manager's desk. But apparently he wont be coming in till sometime next month. And thats when i would have finished my time there already.

So the work i'm actually supposed to do isn't that difficult. I hope they give me something more to do soon. So that the time can pass quicker this way. I wished the working hours were shorter though. And it's like this habit in me. Everytime i got through the first day of work i'll feel lazy to go back the next day and when i think i have so many more days to go i'll feel upset. Grrr but i know it's just the first day and work will get better in time to come.

Met Noob after work to go have my passport size photo taken. Dinner then home.

I wished Noob could go to work with me. HAHA. Then i'll wanna go to work everyday. =)

xoxo.

2009-04-12T13:43:00.021+08:00

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
and I don’t know why

Slow it down make it stop
or else my heart is going to pop
‘cuz it’s too much, yeah it’s a lot
to be something I’m not

I’m a fool out of love
‘Coz I just can’t get enough

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
I can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but i don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down I know
I’ve got to let it go
And just enjoy The Show

The sun is hot in the sky
just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It’s a joke nobody knows
They’ve got a ticket to that show …yeah

Dum de dum dudum de dum
Just enjoy The Show

I want my money back
Just enjoy The Show

Yes i know i haven't had a proper post in quite awhile. Basically cause there wasn't any motivation to blog. Besides heading out most of the time for the past weeks, i have been sending tons of resumes out to try to a job. Ended up i had quite a number of recruiters calling me back and i was a little confused on who was whom and which job position was it.

Big hugs to Noob who was willing to accompany me to some interviews, some as early as 10 in the morning all the way in town. Although tired, it was kinda fun to be able to have breakfast together in the morning after the interviews ended.

Anyway, i finally got a job and am starting work tomorrow. It's a temporary position, but i can wish to stay even when the current contact ends. The only setback is the the location is pretty far from my home. =( I guess i have to get used to going to bed early and waking up early again for this period of time.

As usual, i'm have these little pangs of nervousness in me whenever i'm starting on a new job. Will i know how to do the work given to me? Will i be able to get along with my colleagues? But then again, it's no use pondering so much over it. I'll just take everything as it comes along. And suck it up if things dont happen the way i expect. Noob told me to think of the moolah.

I'm still unsure when i'll further my studies. But it's definite i'll do it.

I've been to the newly opened Tampines One Mall twice over the weekend to check it out. Throngs of people, as expected. I really wanted to check out Uniqlo and get some stuff. But the queue to get into the shop was insane. And they had to close the queue two hours before closing time because there was just too many people to accommadate into the place. They had to apologise to every customer that comes around after they had closed the queue.

Some random and overdued pictures to share over the past few weeks.

Suki Sushi buffet lunch with Su before heading to Robinsons to get a baby gift set for Sherin's newborn. We went to visit Sherin in the hospital.

Baby Zayden, who came into this world on 31st March 2009.
ps: photo was taken from Sherin's facebook. =)

Cycling at ECP.

Fried Mars bars.

Stupid pink tee.

Damn the ulcer at the back of my mouth. =(

I guess that's all for now. And to my poly schoolmates, see ya'll back in school on the 20th for the graduation ceromony. =)

life is short. you only live once. (dont talk to me about rebirth. cause even if it happens im pretty darn sure you wont remember a single thing from this life in the next one) your future is yours to mould, to enjoy and to experience the most out of.

Cliche as it sounds. i find this really true as i grow older. =)

Happy Easter.

2009-04-08T00:33:00.002+08:00

"There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days."

"And, of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back."

"There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads."

"But, once in a while, people push onto something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone. And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in."

"Or to give someone a second chance."

"Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream."

"Because, it's only when you’re tested that you truly discover who you are."

"And, it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be."

"The person you want to be does exist; somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief. And, beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead."

-One Tree Hill

2009-03-30T21:51:00.003+08:00

There was once a very good barber in NEW YORK, who gave Free Haircuts to everybody who came into his shop to have their haircuts. One day a florist went to him for a haircut. After the cut, he wanted to pay the barber, but the barber replied:'It's alright, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.' The Florist was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door. A policeman went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

A Singaporean software engineer went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.' The Singaporean software engineer was very happy and left.
The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, guess what he found there...

Can you guess? Come on, think like a Singaporean...

A dozen Singaporeans waiting for free haircuts!

2009-03-23T22:39:00.003+08:00

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
(Know what you want to say)
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me just what has it ever meant

2009-03-22T23:43:00.003+08:00

I remembered there was once when i was still unattached, i told this to my girlfriends; if i have a boyfriend, i'll be a really good girlfriend to him and i'll treat him really well.

Fast forward to the present, that wasn't really the case. In fact, the present me should give two fucking tight slaps to the past me who said that then.

I almost screwed things up big time. Huge. Everything seemed like a really bad dream.

Too many stuff was taken for granted and this thing called cherish had ended up buried and hidden amongst all the other temptations and factors.

Too much tears was wasted.

A final chance is given. A change is needed. The present and future needs to be cherished.

2009-03-16T23:18:00.004+08:00

Hm, let's see. My mom almost set our kitchen on fire earlier on when she tried to microwave a bun. Dont exactly know what happened, but there was alot of smoke emitting from the microwave oven when i went out to check out what my mom was fussing over.

Our entire house became really smoky after that and was filled with this burnt smell. Yes, the oven is totally ruin. Dad's kinda pissed when he came home to a house smelling like claypot rice and satay.

But i thought the whole incident was kinda funny. Hahah.

I think i've found a job for the time being. At my mom's friend's office. We'll see how things goes.

2009-03-13T01:13:00.003+08:00

Met up with Su and Stella today. Sakae Sushi for dinner. A lizard dropped on Su today. Stella had her first guitar lesson today.

Yesterday, hung out with CY and Gina. Received our results. Was so nervous when we received the sms. I thought i did pretty good. I'm so glad i didn't fail any. Thank God. Caught Marley and Me after lunch. Yeah, ending was pretty sad. Towards the end you could hear sniffing all around the theatre. CY was like sniffing away beside me as well LOL. My eyes did become teary but i held back as i did not wanna ruin my make-up. But my throat was hurting. Why does your throat always hurt when you're about to cry but trying not to?

Decided not to go to the IT Fair tomorrow. I dont feel like spending the money for an external hard disk at this time. Although i wanna backup my files soon because i'm having the idea of reformatting my lappie. It's getting so damn laggy these days i think it's gonna crash or something sooner or later.

Uni, work. Uni, work. What the fuck should i do now slacker?

2009-03-10T18:23:00.003+08:00

OH my gosh i just had the WORST constipation ever since a kid. I was down with a slight fever yesterday and drank so much water i was in and out of the bathroom regularly the entire day. And my colon probably absorb too much water from the food been digested there is none left for me to remove my bowels smoothly today.

It was so fucking bad my A hole hurt like crap. I started to my perspire and my legs were getting numb from sitting too long. I had to resort to gulping down a bottle of Sunkist orange juice(i had my sister take it for me and leave it outside the bathroom door)in the midst of doing my business because i had no other clue how to save myself from that situation. Kinda gross, but yeah. It was THAT bad.

When it all ended, i felt like i had just given birth or something. Total sigh of relief.

I think i'll prefer diarrhea. I was just having stomach upset last week and even went to the doctor's for it. -_-'' Talk about a total 180 degrees change.

Enough of crap.

Results will be out this week. Scary. I really hope i haven't failed any papers. I wasn't really too focused towards the end of my exams then.

I'm going to Noob's house for dinner now. He will be off to malaysia tomorrow till sunday, when i can see him once again before he goes back again on monday for a week to his grandma's.

10 days alone. Date me.

2009-03-08T00:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes the reason why i do not like to seek advice or have discussions with my mom is due the fact that she will FUCKING nag in the end for sure.

It starts off fine. She tells me what she thinks is suitable and then she starts finding fault with me by nagging about my bad habits (associated with the topic discussion, or not) and then she'll nagnagnagnagnagnagnag and i'll end up being so damn pissed off i just wanna shove her out of my room and slam the door in her face.

So it ends up i'm still stuck with my problem in hand.

When i think about my future right now, i get very worried. I'm still not done with my university applications yet. What worse, i still cannot be sure what i wanna take up. Everything is just in a whirl. And my mom's constant nagging about me being such a bummer just makes things even more stressed up.

I know i have to do something about my future alright. I dont wanna waste too much time bumming around. I just need the time to think. But i'm not sure how much time i'm gonna take. And it makes me so worried. Worried i'll lag behind my peers. Worried i'll mess up my future. Worried if i'm making a right or wrong decision.

Growing up and having to be even more independent than ever kinda scares me. I guess all these while i've still been like a kid. Pampered and taking things for granted. But i'm willing to accept changes as i grow. I know i have to. Because i can't be such a kid forever. My future is mine to mould. I hope to carve something good out of it. Hopefully, better than good. I know it's not gonna be easy.

Life's never easy anyway.

Sigh. Haven't been going to church for so long. I don't even know what to say about myself in this anymore.

2009-03-06T14:49:00.003+08:00

you'll always be a part of me. i'm part of you indefinitely..

2009-03-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

2009-03-02T23:20:00.009+08:00

Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

There's pretty much many stuff on my mind lately. My brain is just, so full. My heart aches. I haven't been a nice girl recently. I almost didn't know what i wanted.

It's our 2nd year ann today. But we didn't managed to celebrate the day like we had probably imagined to months back.

If i could add everything all together, the times i've hurt you in one way or another might have far surpassed times if it was the other way around. You've tolerated much of my stubborness, wilfulness and other fucking nonsense. But you were always there for me. You've been a great boyfriend. You are also like my best friend as well whom i could confide in about anything. Sure there were times i felt some doubts, but there were also times when i felt i love you so overwhelmingly.

I was in such a daze today. I missed some buses i wanted to board. And i almost missed the destination stop to alight at. I always thought i could control my feelings and emotions and could sort out my thoughts well. But sometimes i realise i'm just doing the opposite of what i know i shouldn't.

I very much felt like releasing a few tears. But somehow i realise i couldn't. Because the stuff that happened was single-handedly caused by me and there was no one else to blame. I could only be angry at myself. And crying for myself is just.. pathetic. Self-pity? I was feeling drained to cry.

I couldn't get to sleep well for the past week or so. It's only in the dead of the night you'll take note of the silence surrounding you. Somehow, the best time for thoughts to flood your mind, keeping you awake. I was starting to feel that silence really screams the truth.

I know today we've talked and settled stuff. But i know maybe you'll somehow feel you can't trust me like before anymore.

I'm sorry.

We'll be celebrating our 2nd year tomorrow instead. Although the actual day's passed by then, i know that wouldn't be the same for our feelings. =)

Time has flown so fast we've been together for 2 years. I can still remember the beginning of everything then. Up till now, i still like to question you and beg you to tell me 'stories' of those times when we were starting to get closer. And any other kept thoughts and feelings during some random situations.

You are a great boyfriend. I wouldn't know what else to do without you now. Thank you for being there for me always.

Happy 2nd year anniversary! I love you.

:')

2009-03-01T21:25:00.002+08:00

check into rehab..

2009-03-01T15:09:00.007+08:00

Some pictures from Timbre last night. The rest are up on Facebook.

You got a fast car,
I want a ticket to anywhere,
Maybe we can make a deal,
Maybe together we can get somewhere.

Any place is better,
Starting from zero got nothing to lose,
Maybe we can make something,
But me myself I got nothing to prove.

I remember we were driving, driving in your car,
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk,
City lights layed out before us,
And your arms felt nice wrapped round my shoulder.

And I got a feeling that I belonged,
And I get a feeling that I can be someone,
Be someone, be someone.

You got a fast car,
But is it fast enough that we can fly away,
We gotta make a decision,
We leave tonight or we can die this way

2009-02-28T14:05:00.005+08:00

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you

It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If u don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it

Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
That alright, with you?

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you

It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you dont shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

No...

I saw this girl's picture (the one on the left) on her friend's blog, and i thought she was damn chio.

2009-02-25T13:54:00.008+08:00

It was all over on Monday. That is, i had my last paper in poly. I will miss my three years there and all the memories i had of it. =)

Photo with Gina after the last paper. Oh, please seriously give me a pass for that last paper. I wasn't confident about it.

I'm free now and i'm not sure i'm gonna bum around for how long. Truth is, i feel lost. Free, but lost and stuck. Why is it that in life there is hardly ever a time when it isn't so contradicting?

Went to Gena banana's birthday bash at Ee Wei's condo on saturday night.

Just a few of the many pictures to share. The rest are uploaded onto facebook.

My boots from Forever 21 are finally here. Am still thinking of an outfit to go with it. Can't wait to put it on.

So peeps, since i've finished school, feel free to date me out. =)

I'm still planning my trip to taiwan. I'm gonna try to make that trip come true.

2009-02-22T12:34:00.000+08:00

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

2009-02-19T11:40:00.002+08:00

There's so many things going through my mind for the past few days. I've been feeling restless and my nights were not without having to wake up suddenly in the middle of the night.

I have this certain nervousness in me right now that i can't get rid of. I can feel my heart beating faster whenever i feel this overwhelming nervousness.

Sigh. Every decision you make affects your future. But not every decision you make now might be the right one. I guess that's how regrets come about.

I cannot wait for next monday! I am gonna breathe a fucking sigh of relief.

2009-02-11T21:02:00.005+08:00

How time flies.

Every experience becomes part of your memories.

12 more days. And it's all coming to an end soon.

2009-02-09T23:31:00.003+08:00

The finals. The universities applications. My mom's consistent nagging and pressurizing. (although i know she's being helpful) My mom's cold blanket thrown at me. My i-know-for-sure-not-good-enough grades. My easily frustrated mood.

Everything seems pretty fucked up now. Plus, i haven't been going to church for more than a month.

Will He still help me now if i ask him to? Only coming to him for help and assistance in times of need. Even though i'm constantly guilty of it and asked for forgiveness but still falling back in those ways before.

All these is starting to feel like the previous time again. The next crossroad in life.

I need a miracle. And i feel like smacking all the smart people now cause i'm jealous i do not have their brains. I really do. Ferk you.

2009-02-02T20:54:00.004+08:00

I've never liked Harry Potter but this morning i was suddenly having this dream about Daniel Radcliffe (he was kinda hot there) and my mom woke me up.

I was so damn pissed off. Hurhur.

Happy 23rd Noobie! Love you. =)

//edit
i think i make a pretty good online stalker when i'm bent on finding that person. ;)

2009-01-30T22:51:00.017+08:00

My mouse is not functioning properly and it's pissing me off slightly.

5th day of CNY. The celebrations and visitations these year were slightly lesser and quieter compared to last year. I had reunion dinner at Concorde Hotel with my family and relatives on the eve. The 1st day was spent at my grandma's house. I was supposed to go to my aunt's house on the 2nd day for lunch but i skipped it. 3rd day, the girls and i went to Ee Wei's house, followed by the birthday surprise we planned for Su Tian whose birthday was on the same day as well.

Pictures ahead.

Reunion dinner. And they said the economy was bad. There were so many other families having their reunion dinner there was well.

My cousin's kid, Jovey! So cute! Taken on the first day of CNY. Can't stop looking at this picture. =)

Su Tian's birthday surprise at Marina Barrage on the 3rd day. And she was GENUINELY surprised. Some pictures to share.

Gena and me went to the location to prepare the surprise first.

Birthday girl with her new hair extensions.

Headed home past midnight. But everyone enjoyed themselves. Whose birthday is it next? ;p

Went to Eileen's and Jacky's today for CNY visitation. Thanks for the hospitality, food and angbaos. Haha.

I hope i wont do too badly for the quiz today. Was kinda unprepared. Tsktsk. At such a time like this when there is only one more month of school left. The last lap of the race.

Pray hard, study hard, focus hard.

2009-01-21T22:05:00.005+08:00

Just some of the pictures from last sunday's dinner with the girls (minus Gena) at Sushi Tei for Ee Wei's birthday. Someone's 21 already. ;) I think the food there is pretty good. I was spoilt for choice while browsing through the menu. Gonna go back there again soon.

About slightly more than a month before i'm done with poly. I just hope i'll exercise time management well and prepare everything ahead for my final exams. Else, i'll crack under pressure.

I'm hoping for a trip to overseas after the finals. ;)

Kinda looking forward to the CNY break. Time away from school before facing another quiz just after the break. Grrr.

2009-01-20T00:31:00.009+08:00

Do you realise how the typical life in sg for most people is?

You come into this world. And have an average-ly wonderful and carefree childhood.
Soon, it's the right age to go to pre-school.
After pre-school comes primary school.
After primary school comes secondary school.
After secondary comes either JC or poly.
And it's to the universities to secure a degree or master in hope to get a desired and high paying job in the future. (not so easy now with the bad economic)
Then you fall in love, date, get married and start a family.
Lastly, you grow old and retire and you wait fo your final days to arrive.

This piece is shit cycle is somewhat scary. It's all about education for most parts of it. Everything seem so stressed up and everyone's complaining about the same stuff with life in sg. It's like hardly anyone took time off to pursue something they really love and dream of. Perhaps taking a different path from other people in this society is too much of risk to the majority.

Office jobs sucks, dont they? You sit in the office and slog for half the time till your weight increases to a point you have to go on a slimming show to lose weight(for free i suppose) and give the excuse that it's your job that caused you the fats. And somehow life just becomes meaningless everyday. Work and home. Work and home. I've observed office folks on the train after they've finished work. Somehow, they seem so weary and dazed.

I think to myself sometimes whenever i look at them. Are they happy with their lives now? Are they happy with how they've lived half their lives? How were their younger days like? Did they regret not grabbing any opportunities to do greater things then?

If only more people are willing to step out of their shell and take a risk in life to do something they really love. I'm sure more people will follow suit when they see risks can be successful. The typical sg life seem to be stuck in sg only. I really dont want that. Dont you realise the world out there is huge? And you only live once and this life is the only chance you get to get out of this comfort zone and discover the many, many wonderful places and stuff out there. You only live this once. Dont talk to me about re-born/second lives because i'm pretty sure even if there is a second you wouldn't remember a damn thing in the previous life either.

I have dreams and aspirations. I wanna get out of here and explore. I wanna visit different places. I wanna experiences different things. I wanna meet new people and know new people. I wanna enjoy life and have fun. I wanna earn big bucks doing something i love. I wanna reach a state of contentment one day.

You know, i can do all these big talking now but i'm actually pretty stuck with my life right now. It's the typical situation. Academic qualifications mean almost everything here. Not good enough grades and you're basically stuck. I hate it. Everyone's been wanting to fuck the sg education system.

It's one of the crossroads in life again. I wanna look back in life when i grow old one day and not to be filled with many regrets. All the life experiences and memories you'll have with you before you leave this world.

Do you imagine yourself when you're soon-to-leave-the-world-old one day? I have this sickening, choking fear in me whenever i think of it now. Probably because death is somewhat closer, if you've lived till that ripe old age. Maybe it's because i'm thinking of death then, now. But i hope by then i'll have experienced so many wonderful things that'll make me leave the world with no fear and regrets.

I hope i'll be living till i've grown old though. It's scary to think you can actually lose your life ANY MOMENT. Cliche as it sounds, cherish your life moments and loved ones before it's too late. Before the start of 2009, i was thinking there's bound to be people who will somehow, lose their lives at the beginning of the year. And true enough, the news reported some tragedies. I think to myself. "They didn't expect they'll never get to see the year ahead".

God lets you live on one more day each day for a reason.

Ok i could go on and on because lately i've been thinking about too many stuff. Dont comments if you do not agree with any of my words and these as how i feel.

I'll come vent again with another post when i feel like it. I know it's a wonderful world, but i can't feel it right now.

2009-01-14T22:48:00.004+08:00

What is your ultimate contentment?

I dont think i can have any answer to that question for a long, long time.

I dont know what to do.. =(

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

But who am I to dream?
Dreams are for fools, they let you down

And I know that it's a wonderful world
I can't feel it right now
I got all the right clothes to wear
I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

2009-01-12T23:30:00.006+08:00

I've been thinking about it. And i realised that this year is gonna be filled with changes and new situations that i might have to adapt to.

Soon i'll be graduating. And it's worrying that i'm still clueless about which step i wanna take next. But hopefully i'll get to travel to some new places before that. Noob will be going to the army, leaving me with more lonely days.

I really wonder what will become of me by the end of this year. What will i be doing? What would i have accomplished? What would i have failed? It's such a mystery now but day by day i'm slowly heading towards the answer. And in the midst, trying to do everything to create a perfect answer. It's actually scary, but intriguing at the same time.

Suddenly, i'm not in the mood to blog about stuff anymore. Next time then.

2009-01-10T13:46:00.008+08:00

Hold up, hold up
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile, shine on
Don't be scared
Your destiny will keep you on

'Cause all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

2009-01-05T23:55:00.011+08:00

It's my final year. What's more, final semester. I just gotta do whats best and try to bear with all things till the end.

More reports and presentations coming my way these couple of weeks.

Ee Wei's advanced 21st bash last saturday. Some photos are grabbed from the girls.

Before i get too lazy/busy to upload them.

The birthday girl.

Our card.

We'll hang out with the birthday girl again on the actual day. Soon. =)

Meanwhile, i cant wait for CNY next.

And back to reality.

edit// Happy Belated New Year. May this year be what should have been last year and more. =)

edit edit// I fucking screwed up time management for this week again! Hate myself for that.

2008-12-29T22:52:00.006+08:00

The girls minus Gena, who was the one behind the lens.

Ee Wei's advanced 21st birthday bash this saturday. Always the first to turn a year older among us. ;)

Kings of Leon, Use Somebody.

I love this song at the moment. But stupid imeem only allows 30 seconds preview for the song so that's all you can hear on this blog.

i've been roaming around
always looking down at all i see
painted faces fill the places i can't reach

you know that i could use somebody
you know that i could use somebody
someone like you

and all you know
and how you speak
countless lovers undercover of the street

you know that i could use somebody
you know that i could use somebody
someone like you

off in the night,
while you live it up, i'm off to sleep
waging war to shake the poet and the beat

i hope it's gonna make you notice
i hope it's gonna make you notice
someone like me

go and let it out
someone like you
somebody
someone like you
somebody
someone like you
somebody

i've been roaming around
always looking down at all i see

I can so imagine this song playing in an episode of OTH.

Kings of Leon, great stuff.

2008-12-24T23:18:00.008+08:00

Happy Holidays!

Despite the holidays, i still have so much school stuff to do and complete. Dampens my mood somehow. I'll get back to it after Christmas.

Tracking back to yesterday, i went out with Noob and met up with my mom to get Noob his new laptop. My mom was there for securing a better deal. Hur.

Caught the movie 'Ip Man' which Noob was so keen on watching. It was good ;)

One of the boots i bought in Shenzhen. Noob commented it was nice, then added they looked Robin Hood-ish.

Robin Hood or not, i love dee boots.

Can you see a difference in my eyelids?

Clock's striking 12am soon. Have a blessed Christmas everyone! =) Remember to share this special day with your love ones. Love ya'll.

2008-12-20T17:27:00.030+08:00

Hey friends and strangers, i finally came home last wednesday night after 5 days in Hong Kong and Shenzhen and (as usual) has been procrastinating to blog about the trip ever since. Just feel really lazy to do so.

Anyway, doubt i'll be posting up the tons of pictures i took though. That will be way too many. I'll just share some of it. But it's still quite an amount though.

Overall, i found the trip to be well, only average. Might be also due to the fact that it was pretty tiring having to wake up so damn early everyday for the activities planned for the day, and only returning to the hotel after 9 in the night. I had problems sleeping well on the first couple of nights. I guess these are how things are when you head overseas with a tour group. Next time, trips will definitely be free and easy for me.

Didnt manage to buy loads of stuff although Hong Kong was supposed to be a shopping paradise. Actually, most of the stuff i ended up buying were from Shenzhen instead. And they were really inexpensive.

I'll missed the weather over there. Although it could get pretty cold at times when there's a wind. It's great and refreshing(lol) to hardly perspire wherever i go to.

Here goes. It's gonna be image heavy.

Ladies Street and the lanes beyond.

I wish it was the real deal. But it's just the wax museum. Only one favourite picture to share. It will be insane to upload all the rest. Omg i love Johnny Depp!

Breakfast the next day.

Repulse Bay, i think.

MTR station.
Shenzhen. Taken from hotel.

Speaks for itself.

Shopping and dinner at East Gate.

Back to Hong Kong. We got an awesome room on the 49th floor. But our first day's room was on the 58th.

Love the rooms.

A couple of shots from the parade.

It's snowing. Foam, actually.

There was a spectacular fireworks display above the castle towards the end of the day at Disneyland. But no pictures because my camera went dead on me at that very moment.

Omgawd. Done with it finally. These photos are only just a fraction of what i have. I cant upload all in one shot i think i'll pass out. Hope you enjoyed it though.

Christmas in 2 days time. =) I've always love this day and the spirit of it.
If only it's snowing here and i live in a house with a fireplace. It'll be nice to snuggle up a love one or just spend precious time with the love ones.

Hope everyone's gonna enjoy themselves. Happy holidays!

2008-12-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

The term test ended yesterday! School's out till next year. =) But i think i'll still have to head back a couple of days for projects.

Will be flying off first thing tomorrow morning. Excited but at the same time =/. I hope i'll enjoy.

Will see you when i'm back. Gonna miss ya'll. Miss me. =)

2008-12-08T23:14:00.003+08:00

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ i'm feeling hungry.

I've been feeling hungry for the past few night whenever i'm studying for the tests. But i'm not giving in to the temptation for now.

The weather is so chilly.

Wish me luck for my papers this week. =)

2008-12-02T14:00:00.011+08:00

I have this pet peeve. I hate seeing girls wearing leggings as pants. That is, the top they're wearing doesnt cover their bum. I just think it's so damn awful. I mean, i guess it's fine if you have a nice ass. But i've been seeing aunties and girls showing off their sagging or ugly bottoms through those cottons (mostly) and it just turns me off. Ugh. Tell me they're heading for their aerobics class. -_-

Leggings are actually considered as undergarments. So it should be paired with a long top or tunic dress of sort to cover the bum.

Peace. V V

The term tests begins next week. But it also ends next week. I'm gonna start studying soon.

After all is over, i'll be able to take a short break from this sunny island. Looking forward to the retail therapy as well.

Ann Demeulemeester. I would love to dress in her designs.

Haven't been doing this for awhile. It's the 2nd of the month again today. To Noob, Happy 21st month of being together! =)

愛してる

2008-11-30T12:44:00.005+08:00

Dinner at Nihon Mura yesterday before heading down to see Noob's performance. It kinda makes me feel proud whenever i get to see him compete in competitions or perform in front of so many people. Hurhur.

Oh, and i almost went into the wrong restroom yesterday. I was feeling a little tired after watching the perfomance. So i guess i didnt really see where i was going. When i was at the restroom area, i turned left, where the gents was.

Before i stepped in, i saw a guy inside. He was doing what he was supposed to be doing at the urinal. I stoned for a few seconds before i realised i was at the no-no place.

Luckily the guy didn't notice me.
Luckily nobody else saw me.
Luckily i didnt see what i wasn't supposed to see.

I quickly stepped away and zoomed to the ladies.

I have to rush a finalised report for tomorrow. Blardy report. Seriously, f*ck it.

2008-11-28T23:35:00.005+08:00

Quizzes, reports and project judging. One of the most stressful week in school is over. I can grab a breather for the time being. The next one's coming up in a fortnight's time. And this is when time management will play an important part.

I dreamt of Gazette last night. WOOTS! And i am gonna describe it. HAHAHA. Well actually it was more of an Aoi only scene. I was at the front row of their concert and Aoi was just right in front of me on the stage. They were playing LEECH! Amazingly, i could hear the song so clearly. You know, the volume in dreams can be quite cranky sometimes. HEH.

Anyways i was just staring at him play the electric guitar, watching his fingers move so perfectly over the guitar strings. I think Ruki was beside him, but i just couldn't take my eyes off Aoi for a second. I couldn't really see Aoi's eyes though, as the spotlights on stage had casted a shadow across his face. I just kept staring and staring him.. Kinda like hoping he might notice me and look my way.

THEN I FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED ALREADY. You know sometimes when you wake up after having a really nice dream, with parts of it still fresh in your mind, you get this unexplainable fuzzy feeling inside of you?

I love you Aoi. Though sometimes i cant decide between you and Uruha. Okok, irrelevant talk here. Back to reality.

Went for Swensen's with Noob (i still find myself not comfortable with calling him baby or all stuff mushy on this blog. and Noob's kinda cutsy, although i've been using that for quite awhile. will think of another better nickname soon) after school. The ingredients for both our orders were the same. Salmon and mushroom. But he took pasta, while i had baked rice.

The student deals's ice-cream we had after that was pretty good. Celebrity Brownie for him, which is brownie with a scoop of Vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream, almonds and cherry. I had the all time favourite banana split.

Stella will be going with me to watch Noob's performance tomorrow. =)

LOL watch this! It's so funny! I kinda like the chorus part though. Hahaha.

I love how the blog looks now.

2008-11-26T20:53:00.005+08:00

Today's project judging is finally over. And that is a huge relief. Started off pretty smoothly. But then i think i kinda screwed up a little towards the end. My mind was blank and i think i was speaking crap about the codes. Sigh. I hope they dont penalise me too much.

Now, i'm left with a report to rush by friday. Dont you get sick about hearing me talk reports all week long? I know i am.

The timetable for term test is out. The dates are so damn 'round the corner. Freaking two weeks time. Have to start revision next week. Or maybe even this weekend.

I'm glad the tests end on a Thursday. That leaves the next day free for me to pack my bags before i set off to Hongkong the following day. I hope the weather there wouldn't be too cold. Although i think i can pretty much deal with it.

About 35 more days till the end of the year. Are you gonna miss 2008? Enjoy your every last moments of it. =)

edit//
omg i dont know what to write for my report. i'm seriously stuck! =(

2008-11-23T22:31:00.004+08:00

Sigh. Tell me if i'm screwed. Next week, i have 2 quizzes, project judging, and a project report to be handed in. I'm still not 100% prepared or completed for any of the task.

Laziness always gets in my way. Tsk. Really have to brush away this bad habit of leaving everything till the last minute. And then freaking out, followed by a foul mood everytime if i have to burn the midnight oil to complete my work.

Term test will be coming soon. The timetable isn't released yet. I'm pretty sure the test dates wouldn't clash with the december holidays. Like, spill into it somehow. But i'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

2008-11-19T22:47:00.003+08:00

Glamorous models catwalking down the runway. This video makes you think twice about runway modelling being an easy job.

Imagine heels more than 5 inches high, movement restricting outfits plus a slippery runway surface. Falling over and be embarrassed in front of a live audience.

I doubt i can even walk properly in heels less than 3 inches on even ground.

By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

2008-11-18T18:43:00.005+08:00

I love eating with baby at places and spending time together every time we get off from school early.

Love buffet at Sakae Sushi with him. =)

Have you ever realise some things turn out way better than what you thought would be when you least expect it? But it is when you expect something more than usual, it falls short of your expectations.

Kinda weird, isn't it? But i like the pleasant feeling you get when you least expect it.

I'm not trying to be a pessimist. But now, i always try to keep my expectations to the minimal to avoid too big a disappointment.

Back to the studies.

2008-11-16T15:38:00.005+08:00

I have quizzes coming up in the next few weeks. But every single damn time i pick up the book and start flipping through the pages, i feel like shutting my eyes and going to sleep.

How the heck am i gonna study this way? I'm literally feeling the phrase lazy Sunday.

Went with Stella to Lunar Bar yesterday to catch 神木与瞳. Not that i am a fan but because Stella won free tickets.

They're pretty good though.

Dinner at Manhatten Fish Market after that. Their stuff are mostly similar to Fish and Co's. But i can say for sure Fish and Co is so much better.

I have to get back to the books and reports. Wish me luck and concentration. =)